I'm really bored.

[Atanamir]

Yes, that's right, I'm writing a post because I'm bored. I want to just express my thoughts as they come, because I can't seem to think clearly anymore. I have so much traffic running through my little head, I feel the need to express some of the traffic into little words that no one here will find the least bit interesting.

People suck. I'm sort of having a conversation with a mini-me type person at my school, who is just starting to feel the way that I do. Why must people suck? Given the opportunity, people will screw you over. Every, single, time. People, generally speaking, want flux. They want drama, they want shit to hit the fan. But why? Why must people be such jerks? Perhaps it's inherent in our nature, perhaps we're all just greedy pigs that need to feast off of the harm and eventual destruction of others?

Probably. I'm what, seventeen and I already see it? In my few years of experience, I already hate people, and detest life. I doubt I have some sort of realistic psychological dissorder, and I doubt I belong in a mental institution. I've arrived at my conclusions not through moping, but through what I like to think of as logic. Is this what life has to offer? In a world that glamorizes fame and beauty, I am left with mysery, despair, and masturbation? Is this what I live for, to continually be dissapointed in my fellow mankind, and to ejaculate to keep my small little mind from being totally consumed with thinking about sex every few days? I eat, I attempt to sleep, I work. Is this what life has to offer? Please, some of you 'grown ups', tell me differently. Give me somthing to strive for. I don't want some fantisful thing like a great life, I want somthing other than this.

*modified* Yes, I'm modifying this to attempt to show that none of this is directed towards any one of you. I'm ranting, but I don't believe that you (speaking to all of you) fall into this category. Please do not take any of this personally. I'm just a whining kid.

[レナ]

no, you got it right. thats all, when seeing life from a realistic point of view. live through your misery and pains just to keep on breathing (as in... enslave and change yourself for some work that pays your food and home and electricity and clothes and stuff).

life has as much sense as you give it.
may that be to see what the next console generation will bring, to follow a tv show or manga serie. to see how the next album of someone turns out. what science will turn up with in a couple of months about whatever mistery.
thus, never die off your interests. interests and hobbies are what keeps you going.

the things that keep me up are picking the gems out of the videogame market nowadays, learning languages (or at least trying to), occasionally writing scenes and stories down and music. i cant get enough music. and movies. and well, sex is nice too. may it be with myself or with someone else.
who knows, maybe i'll invest my free time into a child of mine in a few years. trying to form it into a good human will be a really challenging task i'd say. but i guess i'll delay that until i'm completely sure of what's important and what's not - in detail. or if i'm only months before my menopause *laughs* whatever comes first.

and for assholes. i wouldnt care much. i have a job now that involves getting confronted with a human disgrace once in a while. just dont care or try another way to deal with it. it goes away, especially if you dont absorb it into yourself as a problem.
maybe trying to learn about all the different kind of people (psychologically speaking) will help. so you can quickly point out who's a sick person that only feels joy when other people arent etc pp.